Monday, April 29, 2013

A Little Apprehensive


It's amazing how time flies.  It's been a little over 2 months since I posted a blog.  I think it's because I'm not such a good blogger.  I read other people's posts and many of you are great writers, very good at sharing feelings, and wonderful supporters (on the site "Blog For A Cure").  I feel a bit like a stalker sometimes because I really look forward to everyone's posts and how I relate to them and what I can learn from them and the responses to them of people who have or had my type of cancer.  Finding this "Blog For A Cure" site was really lucky for me after I finished treatment 7/23/12.  I wish I had found it sooner because I'm sure it would have helped me a lot during treatment too.

Lately I think a lot about this time last year.  This time last year at the beginning of May I headed off to my annual Bloomsday run in Spokane, WA as I often do.  My profile photo illustrates so ironically the vulture behind me on Doomsday Hill at mile 5 of the race.  Little did I know when that photo was taken that 10 days later I would hear the dreaded words, "it's cancer".  I had my first colonoscopy on 5/9/12 which was my son's 29th birthday and then on 5/16/12, my niece Cheryl's birthday I found out.  This year I will have another colonoscopy on 5/8 and a PET/CT on 5/23.  Needless to say, I'm apprehenisive about these procedures.  I should be happy to confirm that "this time" .... "this year"....  I don't have cancer.  But, instead, I'm worried about it.

I have twinges, some pain when I sit, wierd bowels, nothing major, but now these things/signs/syptoms/new normal really make me wonder what's going on down there and if there is something wrong.  Never ever worried before. And, I fear the finding out.  Why is it I always worry about things I just don't control.

So, I'm off to Bloomsday, this year on May 5, again.  I leave on Wednesday.  This year I'll get past the vulture without him behind me, literally, anymore.  Wish me luck!

No comments:

Post a Comment