The Final Countdown

What do you do when you can't sleep at night?  It's a choice between blog or Facebook.  Since I haven't written in a few days, I picked the former.  I've been thinking that it's time to post again.  But, it's sometimes challenging to decide what I want to write about, that I can write about, that I need to write about.

The past few days have been both miserable and fun.  Miserable because the side effects have really kicked in with the second round of chemo and day 24 of radiation.  I am always happy when the weekend comes for a break in treatment, but now I just wish it was over with.  As of today, I only have 5 more radiation sessions.  I'm counting them down and hoping that I can live through it all and I will, with a little help from my friends.  I'll get by with a little help from my friends.  Hey, maybe someone should write a song with those lyrics.

I am at the point that the doctor's promised me.  I now officially hate them!  I have had a few bad days where I'm blaming my body for giving up on me and fighting back.  Willie says I should not be mad at my body since it's held up for almost 5 weeks with virtually nothing and so I should be proud of that.  Maybe he's right.  I am strong and it's just time that I get my turn at a little pain and suffering.  These past few days are proving my point that I actually am a big fat whiner.  I know it would be so fascinating for me to fill you in on the actual details of the elephant in the room side effects, but because they are all so completely gross I am going to spare blogging about that.  Enough said.

The past few days have also been fun because some friends are staying with me and we've been able to hang out, visit, do some fun shopping, and site seeing.  I'm on vacation this week.  I decided last week that I would take this week off and use up some of my 184 vacation hours, resting, hanging out with my company, and getting ready for the "wiggin' out" party this Saturday in Bear Lake.  Turns out that I was right to take the week off.  I think work would be even less fun than usual this week.  In addition to Debbie and Joe visiting, my mom comes back to town on Wed., and as it turns out, Sam will be here tomorrow night too for a quick visit from California (goes home on Fri.).  So, once again, it's a full house this week.

Yesterday, we went to Kennecott Utah Copper (Bingham Canyon Mine - Rio Tinto) where Willie works.  They have a really nice visitor center and look out area over the mine site that I had never been to before.  I'm really glad I finally went to check it out.  It was amazing.  Kennecott is one of the largest copper mines in the world and produces over 1/4 of the world's copper supply.  It has been in Utah since 1903 and has produced more copper than any mine in history, about 18.7 million tons.  The mine is 2 3/4 miles across and 3/4 mile deep.  You could stack 2 Sears Towers on top of each other and not reach the top of the mine.  They produce copper (296,000 tons in 2010), molybdenum (28 million pounds in 2010), gold (596,000 ounces in 2010), silver (4.7 million ounces) and sulpheric acid.  It gave me a newfound respect and pride in what Willie does for a living.

Debbie, Joe and Cathy at Kennecott open pit copper mine

I've had so many visitors and well wishers in the past 2 months since I was diagnosed.  I get cards and nice notes every day from friends new and old with thoughtful enclosures and beautiful messages and thoughts.  I have had my friend Jill Wickens, my brother Carl, my friend Tera Swan, my friend Cindy Lee, my friend Wendy Cowell, my Aunt Betsy, my Mom, my friend's Debbie and Joe Kramer and soon Sam all come visit and stay for a few days.  People have placed my name into prayer circles and prayer chains in many different religions for which I am so grateful.  I have had prayers put out to just about every corner of the earth including the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  My mom's good friend Lorna from back in her California teaching days, recently visited Israel and was kind enough to stick a message of good wishes and prayers for me in the cracks of the ancient wall in Western Jerusalem.  Here's a photo she took of it and sent to my mom.  This is so cool!  How can I not be cured of cancer with all this magic coming my way?  

Can you see my special note in there?  Thank you Lorna! :-)

Here is a description of the wall found on the internet:

"Today, people put notes into the Western Wall every single day. The idea is not that we are praying to the Wall (that would be like talking to a wall!), but rather it is known that the Divine Presence rests on the Western Wall more than other places. (see Midrash Rabba - Exodus 2:2 and Song of Songs 2:4)

Furthermore, the Talmud teaches that all prayers ascend to heaven through Jerusalem. So writing a prayer on a piece of paper and sticking it in the Wall is like having a continual prayer linked to the prime source.

Today, with millions of people visiting the Western Wall each year (plus all the people using the internet service), the cracks can sometimes get pretty packed with notes! You can sometimes see one person standing on another's shoulders to get their note into an available crack. Because of the great volume, every so often, all the notes are removed from the Wall and buried, along with other holy objects that are not being used anymore.

May the Almighty answer all your prayers!

With blessings from Jerusalem,
Rabbi Shraga Simmons"




Even with the hell I'm now going through, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally.  I read a quote on someone's blog recently by Winston Churchill who once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going" and I think I will do that.  No sense stopping there right?  There's something good just around the corner.  Only 5 more radiation sessions to go.  I can't wait.  I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with even more good friends and family up at the lake to celebrate my 50th year.  And, what a year it has been so far!  

Roll on! Rock on!  Move over!