Done!

On Monday, July 23rd I completed my 30th radiation and thus completing cancer treatments.  I'm not gonna lie, the past 2 weeks have sucked a lot!  The only thing that kept my mind off how yucky I felt was having company and preparing for the "wiggin' out" party in Bear Lake (Sat. 7/21/12).  I think if no one came to stay and I didn't have the party then I probably would have just curled up into a big ball and never left the house!  But, per usual, I just battled through it and tried to ignore how tired I was and how sick I felt.  Sucked the big one!!!!!

The party turned out incredibly awesome.  Amber and I celebrated her 30th birthday (late, it's Jan. 13) and my 50th birthday (early, it's Nov. 26) with a wonderful BBQ with many, many, friends, and family.  To me, the celebration meant so much more than I initially thought it would.  I loved every minute of the perfect couple days and will cherish this memory of my 50th year.  My perspective on life has changed a lot in the past 2 months.  Amber and I schemed up our little party last year and sent out the 'save the date' cards in March to invite everyone to come play with us at the Nealy's house in Bear Lake, ID.  Amber and Adam worked hard to complete their garage/extra rooms so we had extra space.  Most people just camped out.  We partied like rock stars in our wigs and had a complete blast.  What an amazing time!

On Monday, Tera, Cindy, my mom and I went to Utah Cancer Specialists for my final treatment at 7:30 am.  I didn't know how I could even stand those last 6 treatments my burns were so bad and the skin was peeling off like zombie flesh.  It was pretty painful and gross.  The only thing keeping me going was knowing each day was one day closer to being DONE.  At first I was counting up.... day 2, day 10, day 13, day 14, day 19.... but after day 19, I started counting down... day 10, day 5, day 4, day 3, day 2, DONE!  Finally, it was here, my last day.  Thank the Lord.  Besides being extremely burned, I was exhausted, I didn't feel like myself, and had diarrhea so bad that it was ruining my good time.  Definitely HELL week! So..... I am DONE now, I rang the bell.  So happy, DONE!

My certificate and Utah Champagne

Ringing the bell!!! Celebrate!

Afterwards we went to breakfast and Marie Callendar's and then back for some blood work at 9:30.  My nadir (low point blood work) this time was lower than the last time which explains the tired.  Currently red blood count on 7/23 was 3.44 (officially anemic - normal is 4.04 - 5.48, my start was 4.48), white blood count was 11.5 (normal is 12-16, my start was 14.4), hematocrit was 33.1 (normal is 38 - 48, my start was 43), and platelets were 118 (normal is 140 - 450, my start point was 241).  The chemotherapy seems to kick in a lot around day 10 - 20 after therapy.  I didn't love that a lot but made the best of it.  It's interesting to note the cumulative effects of combining chemo and radiation treatments at the same time.  Today, Saturday 7/28/12, I am starting to bounce back and feel almost normal again.  I thank my niece Christi for giving me this wonderful cell protection balm (from Glymed-the company she works for) because that stuff is a miracle balm and has totally healed the burns in only a few days!  I feel so much better now.  YAY!

CELEBRATE!

What happens now?  Well, I meet with oncologist on the 8/13 for bloodwork and schedule getting the port taken out.  I meet with the surgeon on 8/21 for a followup. I meet with the radiologist on 8/23 for consultation.  Dr. Lee (radiologist) told me that there won't be any cat-scans or pet-scans for 2 - 3 months because it takes that long for me to heal up and get the effects of radiation and chemo out of my system.  So, stand by, more to follow on my miraculous cure.  :-)

Tuesday night's celebration diner at La Caille with Cindy Lee and Tera Swan.
Turning my Horror Story into a Cinderella Story!

The Final Countdown

What do you do when you can't sleep at night?  It's a choice between blog or Facebook.  Since I haven't written in a few days, I picked the former.  I've been thinking that it's time to post again.  But, it's sometimes challenging to decide what I want to write about, that I can write about, that I need to write about.

The past few days have been both miserable and fun.  Miserable because the side effects have really kicked in with the second round of chemo and day 24 of radiation.  I am always happy when the weekend comes for a break in treatment, but now I just wish it was over with.  As of today, I only have 5 more radiation sessions.  I'm counting them down and hoping that I can live through it all and I will, with a little help from my friends.  I'll get by with a little help from my friends.  Hey, maybe someone should write a song with those lyrics.

I am at the point that the doctor's promised me.  I now officially hate them!  I have had a few bad days where I'm blaming my body for giving up on me and fighting back.  Willie says I should not be mad at my body since it's held up for almost 5 weeks with virtually nothing and so I should be proud of that.  Maybe he's right.  I am strong and it's just time that I get my turn at a little pain and suffering.  These past few days are proving my point that I actually am a big fat whiner.  I know it would be so fascinating for me to fill you in on the actual details of the elephant in the room side effects, but because they are all so completely gross I am going to spare blogging about that.  Enough said.

The past few days have also been fun because some friends are staying with me and we've been able to hang out, visit, do some fun shopping, and site seeing.  I'm on vacation this week.  I decided last week that I would take this week off and use up some of my 184 vacation hours, resting, hanging out with my company, and getting ready for the "wiggin' out" party this Saturday in Bear Lake.  Turns out that I was right to take the week off.  I think work would be even less fun than usual this week.  In addition to Debbie and Joe visiting, my mom comes back to town on Wed., and as it turns out, Sam will be here tomorrow night too for a quick visit from California (goes home on Fri.).  So, once again, it's a full house this week.

Yesterday, we went to Kennecott Utah Copper (Bingham Canyon Mine - Rio Tinto) where Willie works.  They have a really nice visitor center and look out area over the mine site that I had never been to before.  I'm really glad I finally went to check it out.  It was amazing.  Kennecott is one of the largest copper mines in the world and produces over 1/4 of the world's copper supply.  It has been in Utah since 1903 and has produced more copper than any mine in history, about 18.7 million tons.  The mine is 2 3/4 miles across and 3/4 mile deep.  You could stack 2 Sears Towers on top of each other and not reach the top of the mine.  They produce copper (296,000 tons in 2010), molybdenum (28 million pounds in 2010), gold (596,000 ounces in 2010), silver (4.7 million ounces) and sulpheric acid.  It gave me a newfound respect and pride in what Willie does for a living.

Debbie, Joe and Cathy at Kennecott open pit copper mine

I've had so many visitors and well wishers in the past 2 months since I was diagnosed.  I get cards and nice notes every day from friends new and old with thoughtful enclosures and beautiful messages and thoughts.  I have had my friend Jill Wickens, my brother Carl, my friend Tera Swan, my friend Cindy Lee, my friend Wendy Cowell, my Aunt Betsy, my Mom, my friend's Debbie and Joe Kramer and soon Sam all come visit and stay for a few days.  People have placed my name into prayer circles and prayer chains in many different religions for which I am so grateful.  I have had prayers put out to just about every corner of the earth including the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  My mom's good friend Lorna from back in her California teaching days, recently visited Israel and was kind enough to stick a message of good wishes and prayers for me in the cracks of the ancient wall in Western Jerusalem.  Here's a photo she took of it and sent to my mom.  This is so cool!  How can I not be cured of cancer with all this magic coming my way?  

Can you see my special note in there?  Thank you Lorna! :-)

Here is a description of the wall found on the internet:

"Today, people put notes into the Western Wall every single day. The idea is not that we are praying to the Wall (that would be like talking to a wall!), but rather it is known that the Divine Presence rests on the Western Wall more than other places. (see Midrash Rabba - Exodus 2:2 and Song of Songs 2:4)

Furthermore, the Talmud teaches that all prayers ascend to heaven through Jerusalem. So writing a prayer on a piece of paper and sticking it in the Wall is like having a continual prayer linked to the prime source.

Today, with millions of people visiting the Western Wall each year (plus all the people using the internet service), the cracks can sometimes get pretty packed with notes! You can sometimes see one person standing on another's shoulders to get their note into an available crack. Because of the great volume, every so often, all the notes are removed from the Wall and buried, along with other holy objects that are not being used anymore.

May the Almighty answer all your prayers!

With blessings from Jerusalem,
Rabbi Shraga Simmons"




Even with the hell I'm now going through, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally.  I read a quote on someone's blog recently by Winston Churchill who once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going" and I think I will do that.  No sense stopping there right?  There's something good just around the corner.  Only 5 more radiation sessions to go.  I can't wait.  I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with even more good friends and family up at the lake to celebrate my 50th year.  And, what a year it has been so far!  

Roll on! Rock on!  Move over! 

Round 2

Today was day 20 of my radiation and day 1 (of 5) for my second round of chemo.  Willie went to my radiation appointment and the radiology tech invited him in to see my special room and machine that zaps me each day.  I've been wanting a photo of this contraption.  So, here it is in case you've been wondering too.  The round thing above me rotates around my pelvis radiating me in 10 locations starting at the bottom (literally) on the left side and moving all the way around to the right side (bottom).  A lot of times I count how long it takes the "zaps" last from 15 - 25 seconds each depending on the location.   After they they place me on the table they move me to within tolerances so that the red lazers line up with my tattoos and then they get out of the room and proceed with the radiating.  You can see that my medical terminology is getting soooo much better now that I've been going for 4 weeks.  All I can say is that I am sure it's working well and the radiologist says my burns are much better than usual as are my side effects.  I'm am a model subject.  I knew I would be.

Preparing to be radiated

After the radiation, Willie and I waited for my mom to join us and 8:30 to roll along.  I got in much quicker than the last time.  It was smooth sailing.  I got weighed, blood pressured, port accessed, blood drawn and then met with Dr. Gregg.  I'm glad to say that was uneventful.  I'm not having any real issues or concerns and as a result, I didn't have many questions.  She told me that I was doing better than average which made me super happy.  Then we went into the therapy room where I met with Erin again and she hooked up my saline, then the steroid (which helps with nausea) and then the mitomycin and 5FU (pack, affectionately called "Hummer" because of the sound it makes every 30 seconds).  I was out of there by 10:00 and off to work.  Willie and my mom off to do their fun things, not work.  The coolest thing was that Erin thought I was like Wonder Woman with my treatment.  That's just the way I like it.  I told her that I was that for Halloween last year.  I'm going to really prove it this year.

Love my warm blankets and juice!

Below are the blood counts from beginning (baseline) to today.  The first column has the averages of what is normal.  Then mine are off to the right under the date columns.  I only look at a few of them:  WBC (white blood count), RBC (red blood count), HGB (hemoglobin), Platelets (platelets).  I am back in the normal stage on all of these now.  Interesting to see how they have fluctuated.  I like how my blood pressure and pulse was SO much higher on 6/11/12 (first chemo day) because I was so nervous when they took it.  Now, the process isn't unknown to me, so it's much lower today; normal.  Check out the counts at the "nadir" which was my low counts on 6/25/12 to today.  Lookin' good.  I wonder what they'll be on 7/23 when I get the next one done?

More Than Half Baked

Today marked my 17th radiation treatment making me officially more than 1/2 baked.  What an accomplishment. The hardest part of last week, my week 3 of treatment, was actually work.  Making it through a turbulent end of month closing mortgage loans, I can chalk it up to one of my most horrible ever.  The sad part is, none of this was related to my chemo/radiation, just to the crappy challenges of closing mortgages these days.  The good news is, it's over now and this week is going better at work.  In fact, I'm actually considering taking some time off so that I can relax.  I think week 6 would be a good one to take off.

I've had so many people tell me that I should take time off to take care of me, but I honestly feel like working is working out even though it's quite stressful.  I'm used to that after 20 years in the mortgage industry.  It is what it is.  Fighting cancer is way easier.  I'm so fortunate that side effects are minimal for me; a bit of diahrrea, sunburned bum, dry mouth (and a few sores), food tastes kind of different, and some tiredness from time to time is about all I can complain about.  It could be so much worse.   I may just be tougher than I thought I was though so that's a good thing.  Up until now, I always thought I was a wimp and a whiner.  But, I'm learning that I'm one tough cookie after all.  I'm eating right, drinking lots of fluids, and resting when I need to.  Things are going exceptionally well and I expect they will continue so.

I was kind of excited to go to radiation today, day 17, because I don't have to get up early and go tomorrow.  They are closed.  I will celebrate the 4th of July in Park City, watching the parade with Willie and Carol at the Star Hotel.  Yippee!  My favorite holiday (yes, even before Halloween).  The only bad part of a day off radiation is that I do have to make up day 30 on Monday, 7/23.  I was hoping to be done the day before my big 50th birthday bash in Bear Lake, "Wiggin' Out".  Oh well, things happen for a reason.  I'm still happy I get tomorrow off.  Willie is off work too so we will enjoy sleeping in and being together on the 4th.

Today, marked another important milestone as well.  Today, 31 years ago, Willie and I got married, outside in the aspens at Audrey Stevens' beautiful home in Pinebrook (just outside of Park City, UT near the summit).  Can you believe it?  Thirty-one years!!  Just like 17 days of radiation, it seems like these 31 years went by fast yet so much has happened all at the same time.   Last year this time we were celebrating our 30th anniversary on the Coral Princess the night before we pulled into Ketchikan, AK for the 4th.  I love that we were married on July 3rd.  It's such an important holiday to me for 3 reasons: 1)  I think it's the best and most important historical holiday in the U.S.  2) I have so many warm memories growing up of spending the day every year at my grandma's house in South Gate lighting off sparklers, picolo pete's to scare Aunt Katie, and all kinds of cool fireworks, 3) my anniversary on the 3rd makes it a triple threat.  I love the 4th of July!!  I'm so grateful for my wonderful, loving husband who supports me more than I can ever thank him for.

Today, I'm glad I'm more than half baked.  I'm even more glad I've had 31+ exciting and fabulous years of marriage.  I'm looking forward to my final 13 days of radiation and my next round of chemo on Monday, July 9th.  Life is so much fun!

July 3, 1981

July 3, 2011

Willie and I getting off the ship in Ketchikan 7/4/11